


In the Closet

by BlueDysania



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Romance?, Threats of Violence, a lot of implying of things, a lot of pairings - Freeform, because OF COURSE THERE IS, everyone is in the closet, kind of?, like literally - Freeform, oh and everyone is in a closet, omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 03:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12224925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDysania/pseuds/BlueDysania
Summary: “Okay… I know you’re afraid, but we can’t hide in the closet forever.”In which everyone is in the closet. Probably not what you think... or maybe it's exactly what you think. Some skeletons don't appreciate the hilarity of the situation, some skeletons do, and others are trying not to have a mental breakdown.Blueberry just wants to keep the peace- "LANGUAGE!"





	In the Closet

**Author's Note:**

> It all started with a one-sentence story-starter.
> 
> Hmm... dangerous things, those one-sentence story-starters.

“Okay… I know you’re afraid, but we can’t hide in the closet forever.” Blue reasoned with the hyperventilating skeleton in front of him. Or at least Blue assumed that Red was the one in front of him, or maybe he was the one hyperventilating. It was kind of hard to see in the darkness of the Fell’s hall closet and the only way to tell who was where was by their eyelights glowing. Red’s sockets snapped open at his words.

“You don’t understand! I _broke_ the kitchen!” Red wailed, before a sharp clack sounded, probably his own hand smacking across his teeth due to his volume. There was a soft rustle to Blue’s left and he looked to the side to see gentle hazy eyelights surrounded by shifting pinpricks of light.

“Yeah, see, can you explain that to me? How do you break a kitchen? It’s not a thing… it’s many things…” Orbit questioned in confusion. His answer was a deep groan.

“Oh Stars… I had the best fucking intentions too…” Red growled, sounding as if he was talking more to himself than answering Orbit.

“LANGUAGE!” Blue scolded, scowling in the safety of the dark as neither even looked at him in acknowledgment.

“Move _over_!” A hand from somewhere on his left shoved against his shoulder and Blue found himself smashed against Orbit, who caught him with a surprised yelp as they both collided with the wall. Razz’s dual-colored eyelights were narrowed in a way that in any other situation might have made Blue fear for his life. As it was, they were aimed in Red’s direction. “Who cares about intent! Why are all of _us_ in here?! We didn’t do anything!”

“Shhhh! He’ll hear us! Shit, his patrol is already over… he'll be home any second.” Red moaned, glancing at the closed door he was blocking with his bigger body.

“I thought Edge wasn't home right now. Isn't he doing patrol?” Orbit piped up and Blue thanked him as he was assisted in finding his footing again. He shuffled backwards to try to stand closer to the back of the closet and flinched, clenching his sockets closed as he felt his foot fall onto Razz’s.

_Whoopsy_. He slid quickly to the back just in case Razz lashed out.

Which Razz did, though he seemed content to verbally assault them for the moment. “I’ve been pushed into a closet with a bunch of idiots in which there’s barely room to breathe and someone keeps fucking crushing my feet! I’ll yell if I _FUCKING_ WANT TOO!” His volume slowly grew until he was screeching, causing Red to whimper something about ‘ _dead, so dead_ ’.

Blue opened his sockets with a scowl, about to scold them again when Orbit moved forward quickly toward Razz. Blue heard the crinkle of plastic, a muffled sound of indignation and Razz’s eyelights flaring widely, followed by, “Here, eat this nice cream bar.” Blue muffled a laugh. “Look, Red, if you just apologize maybe he’ll forgive you.” Orbit said reasonably, leaning back against ‘his’ wall.

“Sure, I’ll do that. ‘Hey bro, you know the kitchen, right? Your favorite room, the one with all your pots and pans and chrome silverware that took for fucking ever to collect? Yeah, none of that exists anymore. Sorry bro!’ You can collect my dust tomorrow.” Red hissed.

In the silence that followed, Blue wished he was able to teleport like most Sans could. It would make escaping closets so much easier.

“Yeeeeah… I’m with Razz on this one. This sounds like more of a ‘ _you_ ’ problem.” Orbit admitted slowly and Razz made a sound of approval, though whether that was because Orbit agreed with him or because it was a universal fact that nice cream from Outertale was far superior to any other alternate universe's no one would ever know. Blue was suddenly reminded that of the three trapped in the closet, only one of them could _actually_ teleport who wasn't Red.

Why was Orbit still in the closet?

Thank Stars, he hadn't said that out loud.

“… I’m flipping you off.” Red’s growled after a belated moment of silence.

Blue was tempted say something about that but was cut off by a dragged-out groan… from above them?

“You guys are making it reeeeeally hard to take a nap.” A familiar voice said, seeped in exhaustion.

“…” All eyelights zeroed in on the black space above them in disbelief or wonder.

“Comic?” Blue tentatively questioned the darkness.

“Uh-huh?” Came the casual answer. It sounded as though the classic had already begun to doze again.

The stunned silence lasted only a few seconds, this time broken by Red who seemed to have been distracted by his imminent doom, “What… why are you even…?” Well… maybe flummoxed was a better word for it?

There was a sound that sounded vaguely like a chuckle and a snore before they heard Comic call down, “Don’t mind me.”

Blue wondered how it was that a skeleton could just sleep in places like the top shelf of a closet. He'd found his brother curled up on the bottom of their own closet more than a few times. He'd either have to drag him out of it or would sometimes dump the freshly dried blankets on top of him and wait for the heat to drive Stretch from underneath them. Wait a moment… his pun-senses were tingling! Or it was the fluff of one of Red's spare jackets invading his face.

“Just being one of the skeletons in the Fell closet?” Orbit said on cue.

Blue couldn't see the grin, but he could feel it, and he heard the snort of muffled laughter by Red. And he swore he could hear the _badum-tss_ of a drum somehow.

Chuckles, deep with sleep, drifted down. “haha… nice…"

“I want to leave. _NOW_. Get out of the way.” Razz snarled and Blue made sure to keep flush with the wall. Oh dear, this was shaping up to go badly. He was surprised it had taken Razz this long to start enforcing physical violence. His excitement caused his eyelights to turn starry and the area around him to pulse brighter. He tried to hide his grin in the temporary lessening darkness. Perhaps his journeys to Swapfell were doing more for his much-less-peaceful counterpart than he had thought!

It would certainly make the sneaking around his brother much more satisfying!

Red seemed to puff up in anger, and no little fear, taking advantage of his larger height amongst the current Sans. “Fuck no!” He snarled back, sockets narrowing.

As though completely oblivious to the growing animosity, Orbit continued to peer upwards, as though he could see through the wood, “Is it comfy up there?”

“It’s where they store the extra blankets and pillows.” Comic said with a very persuasive tone of voice. Which seemed to work as a faint pop and mass of gently falling white magic preceded the soft thump of Orbit landing on the upper shelf.

“Oh, this is nice.” Orbit whispered along with quiet sounds of bones shifting over fleece.

“Isn’t it?” Comic yawned, sounding content and ready to nap.

Nap. Stretch. Right. He has to get out of this closet. “Red, Papy’s probably getting worried. I told him I was only stopping by to pick up the spices I left here last week!”

Outer made a soft noise of uncertainty. “Umm… you know, those ingredients are probably, uh, _broken_ too, Blue.”

Ah, right. Red had basically blown the entire room up, hadn't he? “Oh…” Blue sighed and saw Red's eyelights gutter out for a moment. Blue couldn't summon the will to relieve Red of the guilt-trip he was given. Some of those spices were expensive.

“I _will_ destroy the door.” Razz hissed, his eyelights flaring and wisping magic from the corners of his sockets. Red groaned at the sight, trying to 'puff up' again but still apparently crippled by guilt and slumping against the door instead.

“Red, how about we tell him together!" Blue jumped in, unable to allow Red to feel that bad before potentially being run through by Razz. "He can't stay mad at The Sensational Blueberry!" Ugh, that better make Red smile, he detested that nickname.

He only felt a little better when Red snorted with laughter, side-eyeing him mirthfully.

The moment was broken by a shining jagged spine lance forming in Razz's hands.

“I’m going to destroy the door.” Razz said calmly. Matter-of-factly. He was serious.

“Razz, stop it.” Blue tried to soothe, waving his hand to disrupt the still incorporeal magic, but was very reluctant to actually try to grab the paranoid Swapfell skeleton in the dark. He'd tried that once and, and it was an _accident_ no matter how much his brother had tried to claim otherwise, and Razz had _accidently_ thrown him nearly twenty feet into the air. On _accident_.

Blue had seen the look on Razz's face once he'd realized what he'd done. He'd been very high in the air, but he knew horrified embarrassment when he saw it. He'd walked in on his brother during his, ahem, 'private personal time' enough to recognize it.

Why? Why wouldn't his brother lock his bedroom door?

From above them, Comic's snores returned with a vengeance. They were so obviously fake and meant to convey his annoyance. Orbit sounded like he was trying to muffle his giggles and the soft clack and chuckles from Comic interrupting his snores made Blue imagine Orbit was trying to quiet the other with kisses. His cheeks flushed with color, causing the air to around him to glow slightly.

The sound of a door opening had the entire closet and its residents going still and silent.

Regardless, Red quickly shushed them all and whimpered, “Do you hear that?” The sound of hyperventilating began again. “Oh my Stars, he’s home. _I’m gonna die_.”

Wait a moment… he had time to jump alternate universes because he didn't have a lesson with Alphys. That meant… “Isn’t it the weekend?” Blue asked, cutting through Red's babbles of doom.

“Uh… yeah?”

“Red, Edge is patrolling Waterfall today. He won’t be home for at least another two hours.”

“Are you FUCKING SERIOUS?! You _bitch_!” Razz lunged at Red, his left socket erupting with enraged magic and his right black as pitch.

Just as Blue heard the thump of Razz slamming Red against the door, light seared its way into the closet as the door was flung wide open. Blue watched the pair of edgy monsters fall over with twin looks of complete shock. Blue reminded himself that laughing at other's misfortune was very rude. He just barely succeeded.

Inching forward, Blue gingerly stepped forward just enough to look out of the closet. His eyelights flickered in shock at the pair standing there.

Error was staring down at the two fallen skeletons with an expression that seemed to be fighting to convey disgust and disbelief. His fingers twitched, the remnants of red strings fading away much to Blue's relief.

“ _ThE h-H-Hell arE yOu iDIotS D-doing?_ ” Error shrieked, his glitched tone increasing as he shuffled in place, obviously unnerved.

On the contrary, Lavender looked downright delighted. His eyelights glowed brightly, a grin teeming with glee stretching across his face. He leaned forward, hands clasping at his chest, “Do you guys need help _coming out of the closet_?” Lavender cooed, laughter hanging off the last word.

Razz snarled, pushing himself off Red and slapping him on the back of the head in the process, “Shut the fuck up!”

"I didn't say it!" Red whined, cradling his skull.

Razz ignored him, huffing and turning to point an authoritative finger at him. Blue froze, unsure of the intent behind being the focus of Razz's attention.

"I expect you to visit my home next week. If you have time to eat with this ramble, you shall dine with The Magnificent and Merciless Razz and my mutt of a brother!" With his announcement made, he spun on his high heels, pushing past any skeleton in his way, and storming out the open door. Blue was sure his entire skull was blue, oh thank stars he didn't say that one out loud either, and shuffled slowly back into the closet.

“How many of you are in there?” Lavender questioned, glancing over at him and sounding like he was still on the edge of hysterical laughter.

Blue looked back with a sheepish smile, “Well… Razz just left, then there’s me and Red and then Comic and Orbit are up on the shelf.”

“Napping.” Orbit said peeking over the edge with a smile. "Hi Glitches!" A blue clad arm curled around his chest and pulled him back. They could hear Orbit giggling softly and a quite clink making Blue blush and avert his eyelights. Lavender stood on his toes, trying to peek with a violet flush across his cheekbones while Error said a very faint, "StArs…" from behind him.

“ _Trying_ to nap." Comic corrected. "Get out.”

“It’s _my_ house.” Red protested with a growl. He stubbornly crossed his arms from where he lay halfway in the closet on the ground.

“That's awesome, Red. Now get out of the closet and tell all the alternate universes that you have the hots for Blue's bro. And close the door on your way out.” Blue yelped as he was lifted with blue magic. Red was a lot more verbal about it as they were quite simply tossed out of the small space. As he landed on his back, he saw the closet door swing closed. Lavender finally burst, doubling over with laughter. Error was trying to edge to the door and tugging on the surprisingly tight grip Lavender seemed to have on his wrist.

A soft chime had Blue sitting up spryly, as if he hadn’t been thrown bodily from a closet. He pulled out his phone, flipping it open with a soft, “Hmm?”

“Why are you guys here?” Red groused, picking himself up as well. He cast a baleful look at the blackened entrance to the kitchen, then began trudging to the couch.

Lavender giggled, slinging an arm around Error’s shoulders, “Oh, you know. Creative things in creative places.” Lavender's eyelights pulsed into hearts for a moment as he smirked sideways at his lover.

Red collapsed onto the couch in a slump, face screwing up in disgust though all he could offer was an exhausted, “Ew.”

Error on the other hand flushed with color and with ERROR messages fuzzing along his sockets, he screeched, “ _Lavender_!” and promptly disappeared with the sound of cracking glass.

“Au revoir, berries!” Came Lavender's parting words as he swiftly followed suite. Red groaned, kneading his closed sockets with his knuckles. The sound of Blue’s quiet ‘ _oh dear_ ’ caused his soul to drop. He didn’t even look over, “What is it _now_?”

“Red… if you want to get a head start… See, Papy told Edge I came over to Underfell to get those ingredients today… and considering how much he doesn't like people in his kitchen without him present… well…” Blue said slowly. Then his usual confidence seemed to return as he said firmly with a stubborn sparkle in his sockets, “He’s coming home early after all!”

The front door slammed open.

“ _Fuck!_ ”

“LANGUAGE!”

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanons of 'In the Closet': One, Blueberry is Blue's official nickname but he doesn't like it because it makes him sound like a babybones. Two, Orbit and Error are actually good friends.
> 
> The Errotic and Rottenberry are gifts to two certain writers who got me hooked on them! You two know EXACTLY who you are.
> 
> Thank you for reading everyone! Reviews inspire!


End file.
